The Seven Pillars of Mindful Relationship

If you would like to picture a relationship then try picturing the most formidable architectural structures. A Parthenon, a temple, a modern skyscraper, they all share many characteristics. Primarily, they stand on a solid foundation and are lifted by the strongest of materials. In the same way, relationships are built on robust  foundations and strong boulders. We introduce The Seven Pillars of Mindful Relationships as a construct that we too can build if only we realize and exercise the building blocks of a vital relationships. Unconditional acceptance is the cornerstone while love, honor, self-control, responsibility, truth, unity, and vision make up the seven elemental manifestations of a truly sustainable and spirited relationship. 

Unconditional acceptance

If a person walks into a relationships with a consumerist perspective of outcomes then they will have strong expectations. Presumably, the person has a set of demands and the other party is expected to supply you with all your wants and requirement. At this level, a relationship is built on conditions and if the partner cannot provide then conflict arises. On the other hand, if a person has unconditional acceptance meaning the person doesn’t have expectations on what they would derive from the relationship then the relationship is founded on solid ground. Any situation or problem that the relationship confronts is bearable, treatable, and resolved because unlike a couple that hold rigid expectations having a high level of acceptance is the strongest foundation you can establish a relationship upon.

Love

If you have had a relationship in the past you would know that love is not easy and tenuous as depicted in romantic movies. Love is a strong bonding force that can withstand all forces, in fact, it is mostly definable through the positive outcomes of hardship in a relationship. You cannot love at first sight because that would be projection of ideals and you cannot love with conditions because that would be a transaction. You can see, now, how a strong foundational principle is the only key to reaching love within a mindful and healthy relationship. To have love is a characteristic of a well-built and maintained relationship. 

Honor

It is mostly mistaken for respect but honor is much wiser. When you honor somebody you use more than seniority, status, and influence to judge whether you respect that person or not. It uses an element of compassion and understanding of where that person is at their personal stage in life. You adequately provide that person with the care, attention, and treatment that would suit them. It is an act of empathic awareness that is reflected by your balanced treatment of the other party.

Self-control

Boundaries are important in any type of relationship whether that is between family members, friends, coworkers, and as importantly, loving relationships. By way of illustration, let us take an example of a couple who seem very dependent on each other. One partner is more likely to enable the other person’s unhealthy behavior because they don’t have a strong sense of boundaries. They both do not understand self-control and personal boundaries. To be self-controlled means you know what you want exactly and you know how to communicate it because it is a sign of strength in character. 

Responsibility

We can notice that when a personal has strong core personality values it always reflects in their relationship. However, there are times when we overlook how two concepts might blend together to create a negative environment. For example, let’s say someone is responsible in nature but because they are kind and understanding they tend to overlook how their partner has the duty to portray responsibility in their relationship as well. They have yet to understand that their inability to see how they enable the other person’s responsibility is, in truth, partly their own shortcoming on understanding the importance of responsibility in a relationship’s dynamic and its value in maintaining structure and order within the unit. Responsibility comes in between all the characteristics because it establishes balance between the foundation and the boulders on which the relationship can rest.

Truth

Fundamentally, truth is a noble and honorable value to have both personally and within relationships. It shows courage and lack of fear but also integrity and respect to the partnership. To be truthful and compassionate at the same time means that you will always know how to communicate with your partner. To be truthful doesn’t mean you have to frankly criticize your partner at every turn. It means to use a balanced amount of reflection on both your partner and yourself. To be truthful is always the best thing to be but you must always be truthful with yourself by introspection. 

Unity

It tends to reflect in a relationship when always all the previously mentioned values are met. Unity means that balance and cohesion have been congregated within the relationship. Yet, it always seems that unity is an active process. It needs maintenance and effort to always grow with your partner at the same level and to never leave each other struggling to progress. Unity means that you will walk together on the same footing as companions and partners which actively necessitates reflection, truth, love, self-control, responsibility, and unconditional acceptance. 

Vision

Having vision does not mean holding on to expectations. Whilst expectations are deliberately meant to motivate you only, vision is about motivating you to see the whole picture. You tend to expect all outcomes even though you have a set vision. You know that where you are in life and where you want to be can change at any moment. Vision allows you to expect both positive and negative events and prepare yourself for all outcomes. It teaches you to put in effort in developing the relationship to reach your goal and if goals aren’t meant you will try again. Partners who have a vision for themselves and constantly communicate it with each other are set to reap the rewards of all the efforts they have invested along the way.