Major key takeaways from the early 20s

Hitting that 20 seems like you’ve gone into a new world, a new stage of life. It’s as if you’ve upgraded your MMORPG game from free user experience to monthly subscriptions. It can feel a lot like that. You get new responsibilities, new horizons and perspectives, and overall a new life experience that takes you on without notice. I, for once, never expected to learn such lessons so suddenly, but unanticipated they were and I had no say or control over it. Do I regret any part of it? not really. It was challenging, definitely trying, and certainly one of a kind. I know 20 seems young for a lot of people out there, well older people, but I still remember when I was a kid and thought to myself 20 is the big first step into adulthood and I would imagine myself so differently and, to be honest, I am different. So right on I was.

I have 5 life lessons I want to share with the world hoping that it would change your perspective on life, maybe learn something new, or just enjoy learning what other people have experienced!

Self-acceptance

This is one of the biggest lessons that I had to digest into my system philosophically, biologically, internally, externally, in every way possible. I had to internalize it to change as a person. Self-acceptance consists of many steps, you take yourself seriously for once and confront yourself with your issues and dilemmas, and instead of running away, you realize it is your responsibility to change what’s not working for you. It is self-acceptance because instead of blaming your environment or anyone else, you take your issues and own them and do something about them, and by doing that, you achieve a new perspective and awareness about yourself and other people. You come to realize that you are only human and with a lot of faults and that is okay. This is where the acceptance part comes in, it is when you realize what you do right and wrong don’t matter inherently, it’s about how you react to them and how you grow regardless. Self-acceptance is when you realize that whatever way you may be in the wrong, you are still a unique person deserving of growth and prosperity.

You can’t control the future

This is a hard one to achieve because it may not be all in your control, it may be that you have a compulsion towards directing your life in every aspect, about expecting results when sometimes results won’t be achievable, about not letting go of a life path when you realize it may not work. It’s about disciplining your mind to be in its most powerful state, to surrender to the flow instead of compulsively trying to guide your life from A-Z. It’s finally exploring that deep-rooted anxiety that makes it unbearable for you to keep going in your daily life living in the moment and maybe thinking of the future occasionally; that anxiety which restricts you, making life itself a hindrance not letting you do what you were made to do; to live. Once I had this realization, the anxiety itself faded away, I realized that it is an active effort to put yourself in that mindset, fearing the outcomes of the future. It is not easy, it’s biological even, we were made to fear the future, it made us alert, it expanded our consciousness, it made us predict and imagine outcomes. It is healthy in a healthy dose, but being obsessively possessed by the fear of the future makes life so much harder. I had to let go of that. Once I had done so, it was a new day for me. Not controlling the future and surrendering to the flow of life marked my 20th.

Mental illness is okay

People and the media are trying hard to normalize mental illness so that people can openly talk about it. However, not everyone comes from the same place and some places are less inclined to see mental illness for what it is; normal. I have experienced mental illness and it made up a majority of my teenage years, from anxiety to depression and throughout those years, I unconsciously felt abnormal and different. I’ve accepted the difference, but I also have felt a lot like an outsider. It’s as if society was one and I was another. I don’t know who’s responsible for that feeling. However, slowly I’ve reintegrated myself back into society once I separated myself from channels of thought that do not see differences as acceptable. Instead, I surrounded myself with positivity and positive people who understand your differences and needs and will not shame you for it.

Thoughts can be enemies

Thoughts can be enemies. They take you down at your weakest. Focus on the minute mistakes and keep hurting right where it hurts. What makes someone’s thoughts so deconstructive? Does it serve any purpose? Well, I’ve discovered that while thoughts can truly be hurtful, they still serve their purpose. They remind you of where you’ve gone wrong and keep pushing you until you discover how to fix it. There are two ways to help with the severity of this problem. I tried positive thinking and it worked for me, I have disciplined myself into thinking only in a non-anxiety-triggering way by meditating, being artistic, and broadening my horizons, and trying out new things. The other way is to try understanding what needs to be worked on and figure out a way to solve it and by that I mean to follow the thoughts down into the rabbit hole and see where it takes you. You need to confront your fears and understand the root cause behind the nagging thoughts. Maybe the negativity you feel is only due to one’s inability to see through the problem and keep ignoring it until it becomes complex.

The process

What I’ve discovered is that in life, the process matters most. It is as if you’re painting scenery and only feeling happy once you’ve seen the result. If that’s the case, you won’t have an art career because every time you fail to meet your standards you will punish yourself for it and it will only get worse from there. Enjoying the process is something I have finally learned to see as important. I learned to enjoy the process of what I wanted to do instead of only seeing the results. It’s pretty healthy and mature this way cause instead of training your brain to release the happiness hormones every time you succeed, you learn to feel a stable joy.

Here are the 5 biggest lessons that I’ve learned to integrate into my life philosophy and my psyche as well. I am looking forward to the next decade and the next biggest life lessons to be learned!